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25 Weeks With Daphne Grace

June 23, 2019

How far along? 25 Weeks
Baby is the size of a:  LARGE Cucumber, Prairie Dog, Little League Baseball Glove

Total weight gain:  +5 lbs. total

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Stretch marks? No new ones

Baby Development: This week, Daphne Grace is growing some HAIR! Her hair is thickening and most likely has color (hopefully red). Her nostrils are opening up this week as she practices breathing in the amniotic fluid to mature her lungs. Her sense of balance is finishing up and she will, hopefully, be rotating herself into the birthing position. She is almost 2 lbs. and is about 14 inches long!

Movement:  This week was a little trying for me in the movement department. I don’t know if I was just really distracted or if she has become more chill but I feel like she moved less this week. To be honest, it freaked me out majorly. I did about 10 “Kick counts” this week and she passed every time. It might be all in my head.

Food cravings: Nothing specific but salty foods tasted especially yummy to me

Miss Anything?  I really really miss shopping for normal people clothes. I feel like I’m throwing a pity party for myself but I haven’t bought non-maternity clothes in almost 2 years and it makes me sad; especially in the summer when the clothes are so cute.

Symptoms: My energy levels have been very up and down. I’ll go from insanely productive to completely exhausted in seconds. My sciatic nerve has been sensitive after a day or working but its nothing the good ole pregnancy pillow can’t fix! Daphne Grace is also still tap dancing on my bladder, so peeing every 10 minutes helps me get my steps in.

Wedding rings on or off? Still on

Mood? Emotional again. I look at Winnie or Will and just cry from gratitude!

Winifred Update: Winnie J is a full on EXPLORER. She is obsessed with our DVDs at home, especially the shiny Marvel movies. She will have a full on conversation with you, very loudly. She is eating us out of house and home, too! She has become quite the daddy’s girl, and looks at her daddy like he hung the moon. I am so in love with their relationship. She visited the splash pad for the first time and loved it! She is officially 10 months and I can’t believe how fast time is flying.

Looking forward to:  PACKING. I have made all my lists and I’m so ready to finally pack for the beach.

 

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24 Weeks With Daphne Grace

June 23, 2019

How far along? 24 weeks
Baby is the size of a:  Eggplant, GI Joe, and Atlantic Puffin

Total weight gain:  3lbs total

Stretch marks? The previous ones from WJ are making their appearance again

Baby Development: Daphne Grace’s lungs are now producing the substance that will help them inflate when she is born. She is a foot long! She is already developing her taste buds and will be able to start to taste what I eat through the amniotic fluid.

Movement:  Nighttime is DG’s favorite time of day. As soon as I lay down to relax, she is ready to PARTY!
Food cravings: Nothing

Miss Anything?  I miss being able to fall asleep at my own will.

Symptoms: I got hit with a stomach bug or something, y’all. Monday morning I was supposed to take my glucose test. On the home after dropping WJ at daycare, I started to feel so nauseous. I tried to fight through it and drink that nasty glucose drink for my test. Whelp, about 5 sips in, I violently vomit everything. The nausea continued all week long, the vomiting continued until Tuesday morning. Just waiting for it to go away because I have no interest in this 2nd trimester nausea business.
Wedding rings on or off? Still on

Mood?  Exhausted and so nauseous.

Positive Moments This Week: This week I’m immensely grateful for WJ’s daycare. They are patient, companionate women and I’m so thankful that they love Winnie so well. I had to rely on them a lot this week with my sickness and I honestly don’t know what I would do without them.

Winifred Update: Y’all, my kid is FUN! She’s come into her laugh and thinks that everything is so funny! She had her 9-month appointment this week and handled it like a champ. Her pediatrician says that she is right where she needs to be. Winnie grew from the 14th percentile to the 30th percentile in weight, so we are super excited about that! Winnie is also LOVING swim lessons! She was born to be in the water.

Looking forward to:  A week without nausea, haha. I’m hoping this clears up and I can enjoy my baby again.

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23 Weeks With Daphne Grace

June 23, 2019

How far along? 23 weeks
Baby is the size of a:  Barbie Doll, Chinchilla

Total weight gain:  2lbs

Stretch marks? None! Thank you, Jergens

Baby Development: Daphne Grace is a growing bean! Her lungs are developing in overtime this week, which makes mama happy! She is getting fatter by the day and I can’t wait to squeeze her chubby cheeks. Her skin is still transparent and her veins and arteries are developing as well. She is currently a little over a foot ling and weighs about a pound! Her inner eye components are also completely developed.

Movement:  This little jumping bug is constantly moving big time! We’ve started to feel her move on the outside, which is super exciting for Will.
Food cravings:

Miss Anything? Being able to bend over comfortably

Symptoms:  Getting super tired lately

Belly Button in or out?  WAY OUT THERE
Wedding rings on or off? Still on

Mood?  Exhausted and Emotional. Everything makes me cry and I nap when Winnie naps.

Positive moments this week: Will and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary and got to sneak away for a nice lunch together!

Winifred Update: Winnie J has made some awesome developments this week!    She has mastered the “N” and the “M” sound, which makes me hopeful that “mama” is going to be coming out of her sweet little mouth! Right now, everything is “Dada”, so I’m ready for my name! I’m pretty sure knows “NaNa” is her sitter because when we drive up to her house, she goes “Nana Nana Nana!”. It’s insanely adorable. She is also having more “conversational” language, looking at me when I talk to her and looking people in the eye when she talks as well.

Looking forward to:  SWIM LESSONS! Winnie J has started swim lessons and its my new favorite thing.

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22 Weeks With Daphne Grace

June 23, 2019

How far along? 22 weeks
Baby is the size of a:  Water Bottle, Guinea Pig, Ear of Corn

Total weight gain:  None! I suspect that will change soon enough, though.

Stretch marks? Nope! Itchy belly is back, baby!

Baby Development: She is still working on that inner ear! In the womb, Daphne Grace is sleeping 12-14 hours a day. She is already practicing her fine motor skills by touching anything she can find in there. In our last ultra sound, she was using her umbilical chord as a toy! This week, her pancreas is beginning to create her own hormones.

Movement:  She is moving like CRAZY! Occasionally, she will flip over and make me almost puke, but I love knowing she’s ok in there. Her feet are on my bladder still, so that’s super fun.
Food cravings: I can’t get enough water!

Miss Anything?  I miss shopping for clothes that weren’t maternity. Expandable clothing can only take you so far.

Symptoms: I am having the longest, most vivid dreams! They go all night long and even continue after I get up and go back to sleep. The tips of my fingers and toes tingle on occasion, which is weird. I have to be careful lifting things or doing too much because my lower back aches like crazy. Hoping to walk some more with Winnie to help stretch that out.

Belly Button in or out?  In outer space
Wedding rings on or off? Still on

Mood?  Productive. I’ve been a machine when it comes to cleaning the house or getting my “stay at home mom” on!

Positive Moments This Week: Having my parents here was an absolute blast. They were so helpful in the transition from my classroom and Winifred could not adore them more. Will got me a desk of my own for the house and we now have the cutest little office setup!

Winifred Update: Winifred is making leaps and bounds in the development department! This week, she had scrambled eggs for the first time and is really mastering her chewing skills. I’ve been hesitant to let her practice because, quite frankly, I’m tired of cleaning up vomit 3 times a day. She is now eating solid chunky food with minimal gagging, so I’m counting it as a win! Winnie can now go from sitting to crawling and back on her own. She also pulled up on her own this week! We found her like this (see below) in her crib, and promptly lowered the crib. Her current favorite thing is BOOKS! She loves to help turn the pages and interact with the illustrations. Boy, does that make my teacher heart happy! She has been an awesome independent player. She can play by herself for a good 30 minutes without asking for much attention. Mornings are her favorite time of day!

Looking forward to:  Our first full week of summer vacation! I’ve got some fun outings planned for Winnie J and I can’t wait to watch her grow! Winifred is also entering her 7th mental leap, so I’m excited to see what kind of crazy that brings us.

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If My Anxiety Won

May 5, 2019

Looking back, I think I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life. It evolved or manifested itself in different ways, but it was always there.  In elementary school, I just thought I was “over-thinking” or being “too uptight” about what people thought of me. In Jr. High and High School I thought I was way too focused on food and counting calories. In my junior/senior year of college, I realized what true anxiety was and it began to take it’s toll. I was planning a wedding, student teaching full time, taking 12 hours, on the Executive Board of my sorority, leading a trip to Haiti, trying to find a job, and struggling big time with my eating habits. I was barely sleeping, becoming manic at night, I could barely eat anything, and was incredibly irritable with anyone around me.

Over the first year of our marriage, my anxiety became a road block for Will and I. Being in a new town, starting a new job, and losing a baby brought the anxiety to new levels. I was distant, tired, and extremely insecure. Will lovingly pointed out my behaviors, noticing when I would push him away. He gently asked what I needed and let me pour out my soul to him. I began to feel more comfortable talking about the anxiousness and the overwhelming feelings I was experiencing. Through the next year, I took control of my anxiety by taking back the power it had over me. I started to recognize my triggers and build up my mental stamina to cope. Some days are better than others and I still struggle to this day with crippling anxiety, but I realized I couldn’t let it win. There was so much I had to lose if my anxiety won.

If my anxiety won, I wouldn’t leave the house, afraid what other people would think of me.

If my anxiety won, I would lay awake at night replaying conversations, worried I sounded like an idiot.

If my anxiety won, I would stay at school until 10PM making sure every single child had their individual plan to master absolutely everything.

If my anxiety won, I would never let Will drive anywhere out of fear that he would get in an accident.

If my anxiety won, I wouldn’t let Winifred explore on her own in case she gets hurt.

If my anxiety won, I would eat only celery, because “a moment on the lips, forever on the hips”.

If my anxiety won, I wouldn’t have fingernails or nail beds. They would be destroyed by the coping mechanism of picking and biting.

If my anxiety won, I would never post pictures of myself because I didn’t lose the baby weight.

If my anxiety won, I would never sleep. I would be glued to Winnie’s side to make sure she was still breathing.

If my anxiety won, I would never stop cleaning in case someone randomly stopped by for a visit.

If my anxiety won, I would be calling my OB or Pediatrician for every little thing because it could be a BIG thing.

If my anxiety won, I would never eat with anyone else because the sound of them chewing would bring out the fiery beast.

If my anxiety won, I would go crazy trying to spend equal amounts of time with the ones I love so they won’t resent me.

If my anxiety won, I would be a shell of a person.

I could go on and on, but the truth is it wouldn’t do me any good. If I go too far down the rabbit hole, it becomes a super dark place. There is way too much joy in my world to go down the dark rabbit hole. God has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams and I’ll be darned if the enemy is going to steal my joy! I’m so grateful for Will and my doctors for hearing me, supporting me, and encouraging me to do what is best for my mental health.

We are stronger together. When I kept my struggles a secret, I got swallowed whole. When I shed light on the darkness,  the shadows ran away. If anxiety is something you struggle with, you are not alone. It is real and you are heard. Talk to someone, do things that make you feel stronger, don’t give up. You are loved.

I work through this daily. I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever fully be in control of and I’m ok with that. The small victories will be HUGE victories.